Fatherhood enriched with special needs child
by Sue Rau

One of the best things about parenthood is immediately holding the newborn child. For Marc and Deb Dionne, that quintessential moment was delayed by an unforeseen crisis. Although the arrival of their second child, Gabrielle, felt perfect, the euphoria evaporated within twenty minutes.

Prepared for an experience similar to the delivery of their firstborn, Matthieu, the Dionnes were perplexed when the nurses whisked Gab out of their sight. When Marc tracked down their doctor, they learned that Gab’s heart had a hole in it, and that she would probably be flown to Edmonton for emergency surgery. Also, she had Down Syndrome.

Marc had earlier feared having a child with Downs because of the perceived stigma, but in view of her heart problem, Downs seemed minor. Both parents just wanted Gab to survive, and called their church and family for prayer. Within twenty four hours, the hole had disappeared.

As other health crises surfaced, the Dionnes met each one with a decision to trust God. Since Gabrielle’s blood was too thick, she faced a dilution procedure. At the end of a lengthy preparation, a last-minute check showed that Gab’s blood was normal. Next, her sodium levels were dangerously imbalanced. Again the procedure was cancelled because Gab’s levels had become normal. This stabilizing trend continued for all of her ten days in ICU.

Gabrielle has made astonishing progress. Her medical team has had to rethink the norms for Downs children. For most of her developmental tests, Gabrielle scores far above where she "ought" to. The Dionnes credit God with showing them what to do for each of Gabrielle’s ongoing health issues.

Initially overwhelmed, Marc’s cry to God has been answered with an abiding joy, and as a father he’s been enriched by having a child with special needs. Asked how they deal with such an enormous trial, the Dionnes recommend visiting the Children’s Hospital to see what some parents are going through with their children. "They tell me that this is a huge burden," said Marc. "It’s far lighter than what some other parents have to deal with."

Marc and Deb are thankful for this child who has changed their life more than most might have. Because of things like Gabrielle’s vulnerability to infection, at times the Dionnes restrict themselves to less public places. They face the temptation to feel deprived, just like they challenge the misconception that Christians lead a restricted life. "Do we miss out? No, but we do things differently."

A pediatrician told them that having a Downs baby is like planning all your life to go to Italy, and then finding that you’ve arrived in Holland. It’s not Italy, but it’s great once you start to discover your destination.

Each time the doctors list Gabrielle’s current health risks, Marc has faced the possibility of losing her. Yet God has promised him that whether He touches Gabrielle supernaturally or through the hands of a surgeon, His hand is upon her to heal. God has repeatedly inspired the Dionnes with practical answers for the complexities of Gab’s care. They’ve learned the importance of parental prayer, whether the children involved have special needs or not. Marc says that they might not have prayed as much if Gab hadn’t had Downs, because the need for prayer is "always in your face."

Before their daughter was conceived, Marc and Deb chose the names Gabrielle Elise. They mean "God is my strength" and "God is my oath." And for the Dionnes, He has been both.