When Sharon Molofy of Calgary and Tom Higgins of Colonia, New
Jersey, decided to get married in 1980, they attended marriage
classes at St. Anthony’s Roman Catholic Church in Calgary. Their
introductory meeting with Monsignor O’Brien, which was supposed
to be about the upcoming nuptials, turned into a discussion
about jogging and about what shoes were best for running.
"It was the beginning of what our life
together would be like," said Sharon, who, for almost 26 years,
has been married to Tom Higgins, Calgary Stampeders Head Coach
and VP of Football Operations.
"Whenever we meet people, it’s like ‘get to the
point’ – people just want to talk about sports," said Sharon.
"We do have a life outside of sports – it’s miniscule, but we
do."
As the Calgary Stampeders
training camp opens this month, Sharon and Tom Higgins
(Head Coach and VP of Football Operations) have to balance
football, faith and family.
When they met, Tom was a tall, handsome
linebacker for the Calgary Stampeders and Sharon was working at
the University of Calgary, where training camp hopefuls were
housed.
The Tuesday after their wedding at St.
Andrew’s United Church in Calgary, the couple stashed their
gifts and possessions in Sharon’s parents’ basement, and headed
off to Buffalo where Tom played briefly with the NFL Bills.
He quickly returned to the CFL, playing with
the Saskatchewan Roughriders, before retiring to become a
teacher and a coach. He got back into football as a coach with
the Calgary Stampeders and then went to Edmonton for an
illustrious career with the Eskimos, highlighted by being named
CFL Coach of the Year in 2003.
Historically, coaches in the CFL spend, on
average, two or three years in one city, which is not conducive
to family stability.
"It was always our wish to have all our kids
in one school," said Sharon. "We chose not to be transient. We
chose to be unemployed rather than to take them out of school."
Fortunately, their kids were spared a
fractured school life, as Tom Higgins was employed with the
Edmonton Eskimos for 11 years.
"Things started to unravel when our last
child was in high school," Sharon said. "You have to be thankful
for the little miracles."
Tom has an Irish Catholic background but
attends the United Church with his wife and children. An
intensely spiritual man, Higgins has a framed copy of the poem
Footprints hanging in his office.
"It (the poem) is indicative that we’ve all
had help along the way. It’ll hang in any office I occupy," said
Higgins, who believes one’s faith can be best demonstrated by
actions rather than words.
When the rest of the Higgins clan joined Tom
in Calgary last May, Sharon began church shopping. They tried
three or four different churches, but didn’t find a good fit.
One Sunday when Tom and Sharon were away, their eldest daughter
Holly discovered Hillhurst United Church, which is currently
enjoying a revival due in part to their minister, John Pentland.
"It’s the friendliest church I’ve ever been
to," said Higgins. "Passing the peace takes forever."
Pentland said he was unaware of the Higgins’
presence until someone told him. It was only then that he was
able to match the face to the name, and invited them for coffee,
which is something he endeavors to do with all newcomers.
"They told me they had church shopped, and I
encourage that," said Pentland. "They told me that they like
what I’m doing – their only complaint was that the church was
too friendly."
He described Higgins as positive,
action-oriented, and fair. "He sees the athletes he’s working
with as human beings. I respect him as a leader. I will value
his feedback."
If the Higgins have a ministry in Calgary,
it’s within the Stampeder family. Sharon and some of the other
coach’s wives have taken some of the players’ wives and
girlfriends under their wing.
"Some of the wives and girlfriends come to
Calgary not knowing anyone and they think they’re alone," said
Sharon, who says they get together at least once a month just
for a meal or to celebrate a birth in the Stampeder family.
"It’s all about bonding," she said.
To celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary,
the couple booked a cruise for the early part of this month, and
bought tickets for each of their children which include Holly,
22, Hillary, 21 and Thomas, 19.
"But then they moved training camp up by a
week, and we couldn’t re-book for a later date," said Sharon
with a shrug of resignation, "So our kids are going by
themselves to celebrate our 25th Anniversary."
Sharon Higgins takes it all in stride, because, it’s part of
the game.
